It is Valentine’s Day tomorrow and it can be felt in the air!
However, this year’s celebration coincides with Ash Wednesday, a significant event that marks the beginning of the Lenten Season for Catholic Faithfuls.
This season is one all categories of people look out for; the married, the single, the people with ‘complications’, and even we the spectators who do not mind our business!
Just to spice your day and give you more reasons to smile, we have made a list of ‘special’ people to look out for on the day of love!
- The Ones Who Have Found the ‘One’
These ones blocked their ears when our dear President said “Let the poor breathe”. They came up with gift ideas in December! The only calls they receive with utmost seriousness and dedication now are calls from vendors, dispatch riders, etc. The people in this category are not fazed by the economy and its sting. No matter the weather, their gifts must be delivered! You probably have bad character and that’s why you don’t fall under this group.
Makes us ask, God when?
2. The Ones Who Dump/are Dumped before Val’s Day
These ones are plagued with bad timing. They are always in a relationship from March till January and just like that, someone dumps them or they dump someone! They have never received Val’s gift in their lives.
Some people in this category might never receive one till they appease the ‘gods’. If this is your table, cheer up! Hang around your taken friends and you might just get a chocolate from their Valentine’s package. It’s a win-win!
3. The Vendors Allergic to Surprises
Stay with me and let us drag these vendors! They surprise everyone but never get surprised. The year is just beginning and they have already drafted surprise packages and their prices. Makes us wonder, are you scared of surprises dear vendor? Will someone patronize you for you or should we mind our business?
They are seen all around town on Vals Day flanked by saxophonists, Taxi drivers, and dispatch riders. Their love for money supersedes their love for love! We see you! Young, single millionaire!
4. The Ones who Wear Red for Absolutely no Reason
First of all, wrap it up! Is red for Christmas or Valentine’s Day?
Some people in this group go as far as pairing the red with white accessories. Everything is red! It’s mostly couples in this category. It’s not enough that we are single and you are not, you still want to ‘put pepper’ in our eyes?
As you attempt to iron that red outfit tonight, let your transformer blow! Can we get an Amen?
5. The Haters
These people have anger issues. Sometimes it gets hard to figure out what the source of the anger could be. We only find that it is heightened by Valentine’s Fever!
They camp on social media hating couples’ pictures, detecting plastic roses and real ones (ironic seeing as they have neither), and even reminding couples they’ll still cheat on each other!
They have a lot of unanswered DMs. If only they had responded! Let’s just console them with a bottle of bitters and Kabusa Choir’s ‘Valentine is Coming’ hit!
Finally, a big shout-out to our ‘self-love’ ambassadors. These ones hide the pain of being single behind self-love. Are you really content with yourself or is there no one to love you? Aww!
Superstars, what category do you fall under?
Tell us in the comment section below!