By Charly Boy
As Charlyboy, I know lots of people will swear that my life is complicated but sorry, not quite. The truth is that as Charles Oputa, my life is very ordinary and a bit boring because I choose “simple” happy life. Thank God I don’t live as Charlyboy in my house. I have nothing to prove to my family, except to love, protect and fend for them. That alone is a full time job, free me jare.
Some people assume say, because e be like say small pepper rest for my hand, I just dey wan yarn ‘anyhowly’. Being financially secure certainly can help open opportunities, relieve stress, and offer some peace of mind. But can all the money in Naija make you happy if you are unable to feel happiness from WITHIN? Make we check de matter. This piece is not for people who just exist, but for those who have become INCAPABLE of counting their small BLESSINGS.
Sure, some people have advantages in certain areas of their lives. There are those who have lots of money, some are physically on point, some have extraordinary intelligence, etc, but I know that some of us also have advantages over other people in different areas of our lives as well. I never measure my humble success by how much money I have, instead I define it with how much happiness I can activate in me and in others, even as jungle don mature, my inner peace is golden for me, and the positive contributions one can make to his environment, profound.
From my great Father, Justice Chukwudifu Akunne Oputa, I learnt the art of contentment; I also learnt that the universe gives us a playing field where we all have the opportunity to reach our 100%. That means if 100 people decided “happiness” was their goal, that goal is equally attainable for each and every one of them, only the path and time it takes to get there will be different.
For the sake of this happiness, peace of mind and the little contributions one makes to enhance their environment, I have finally defined my no go territories. Things I will not waste my precious time on, because I no send anybody.
1. Relationships and friendships that don’t bring any value to my life, weytin I wan take am do. I am an “ALL” giver so I need to be mindful and careful of TAKERS who don’t understand the dynamics of giving. This is why it is so important to set your own value, as well as create and maintain healthy boundaries because regardless of what the other person does, it’s ultimately up to you to choose what is acceptable in your life and what isn’t.
2. I am a hunter for positive clean spirits who see goodness in many places, you all know I have Virgins, not in the physical sense of the word, that’s why I always make it a point to surround myself with positive and proactive people who will lift my spirit and inspire me to live life to the fullest! Certainly no room for crappy people, when all they carry is toxic energy, Tufiakwa!
3. I am learning to worry less, it’s not easy but I’m trying so hard, God help me. I know that worrying about something that may or may not happen won’t change anything – and you miss out on the opportunity to make the present great (which in turn could possibly have influenced tomorrow in a positive way!) I’m learning to let go of excessive worrying, because really, what’s the point borrowing from the future. If we worry about what may happen tomorrow and it doesn’t happen, that means we have worried in vain. Even if it does happen, we have to worry twice.”
4. Thank God I never worry about what people think about me, especially those that I know talk out of ignorance or not well informed about my put outs. I see my world through eyes of my own personal life experiences and interpretation, and so does everyone else. For long now, I have understood that when someone has an opinion of you or your life, it doesn’t make it a fact unless you agree that it is. You don’t need anyone’s permission to set your worth, so why depend on the approval or disapproval of others. In this area of my life, I’m a master, who born dem.
5. I never try to change people, but with those I see that are hungry to be better, I give them impetus to be the best of themselves. I appreciate the differences; they are what makes this world interesting. So who the hell can change my attitude, thoughts, or actions so they can feel more comfortable or secure? No one, dem never born dem. Even my late father tried and failed.
6. I live in my own world, in that world na only me be Oba. I never compare myself to others or set my standards based on someone else’s expectations, God forbid. This way the only human being in this world that I have left to beat, is my achievements of yesterday. I no struggle nothing with anybody.
7. I don’t mind it when I’m broke, when things are not moving according to plan. The hardship I have encountered in this life, most of them has been self-inflicted, just because I’m use to the hard way and hard life. I avoid setting limits to what I can achieve in my life by remaining in my personal comfort zone, because when you break out of your comfort zone is when you grow the most. I have let go the need to be comfortable all the time. “Life begins at the end of your comfort zone” ~ Neale Donald Walsch
8. Just as I don’t bloody worry about what others think of me, I avoid judging others and their life choices. The only life I get to live and is responsible for is my own, so I leave others to live their own lives full out. Doing so frees me up to live MY life to the fullest.
This write up is really not about me, it’s about some of the qualities that has helped me stay focused and tenacious in my pursuit of happiness and peace, and I know when one attains that kinda’ height, you take things a little easier because at the end of the day, we just can’t take anything with us when we depart. So I am an advocate of creating our own mini Heaven on earth, not by the material things we surround ourselves with, but the contentment, peace and happiness we have learned to cultivate in our lives. Are you a learner?