I, Akan X-Imoh, aka @Ovasabii, a member of the twitter constituency hereby write this piece to serve as a warning to a special set of
people in our country.
It is with pain in my heart that I lament, today, the shameful, highly embarrassing and unintelligent faux pas by someone who is supposed to be clever and intuitive, if not intelligent. It is a shame on Nigeria as a whole that our public officials are not well schooled in the art of presenting their ideas in public. This is an irritatingly obvious fact, as we would recall the well talked about and watched Presidential gaffe during his interview session with a CNN reporter.
Well, we live in a country where mediocrity is not only accepted as a norm, it has become a necessity. Even if you are intelligent, at a point in your Nigerian experience, you will have to reduce your intelligence and portray a level of stupidity so as to achieve something. No wonder, even brilliant Nigerian students still run to special centres to write external exams. No wonder ladies still offer to sleep with their bosses, even when they are the perfect employees.
Coming back to the issue at hand, the embarrassing error by Mr. Obafaiye Shem, Lagos State Commandant for the Nigerian Security and Civil Defence Corps (NSCDC), has become a laughing stock on the Nigerian section of the micro-blogging site, what we all call twitter. For the past few days, the Nigerian Twitter Constituency, which is very famous for its general acerbic and critical tongue has given the man a taste of bile. Mr. Shem has experienced a dose of what the likes of Tonto Dike, D’banj, Goldie RIP (Her BBA stunt), Bance and so many others once went through.
Graphics Artistes have outdone themselves with creative pieces, Twitter Overlords have spoken (their words are second to none), Brand Strategists & Reputation Managers have outlined the consequences of his speech, Fashion Designers have made tee-shirts and branded them with what has become the slang of the year – #MyOgaAtTheTop…and I ask, why shouldn’t we have fun..? We are faced everyday with situations that make us complain, frown, feel sad and get frustrated. So many of us in the twitter constituency do not have jobs, talk less of good jobs, ask @Giditraffic how we suffer everyday on the roads due tue to bad traffic situations, so many of us are still seeking admission into higher institutions, so many of us are victims of corrupt practices, yet we cover our sadness with a smile and tweet like we live in a country where the social security system works, where the our lives and properties are secured, where our government officials are accountable to the electorate.
So, we, the Honorable Members of the Twitter Constituency hereby pass judgment on you, Obafaiye Shem. You shall subjected to more deadly ridicule. We will print your famous slangs on tee-shirts, face caps, sneakers and all our clothes. We will preach the gospel of ‘My Oga At The Top’ till you cower in shame. We will use all our weapons in our arsenal to publicize this. We will talk and rant, create more interesting jokes, we will turn the ghost-comedian, Akpors into a political critic.
We will keep on tweeting and retweeting. We will turn your slang to our street greeting. No more ‘whatsup?’ again, it will become ‘how’s your oga at the top?’
And this should serve as a deterrent to other public servants. Please we beg you, don’t do proper research before you come for your interviews. We plead with you, don’t polish you grammar ooo. We plead with you, make stupid mistakes on air, then you will experience the power of the Nigerian Twitter Constituency. The likes of @Omojuwa with his phalanx of followers will eat you raw with just one tweet. Let me not mention his fellow activists @NeduNaija @Rosanwo @DOlusegun @Ayourb @Toluogunlesi @AAABORODE just to mention a few.
Have you seen @Gbengasesan and @temiladesesan with their ‘Oga At The Top’ Tee-shirts, that is just the beginning.
That’s not all, the duo of @Gbagaundetector and @Grammarpolice will be on hand to analyze every sentence you utter, and then pray very hard that @Tweetoracle doesn’t get interested in your case.
Please, we need a new trend, #OgaAtTheTop will soon become stale, one of these public official could volunteer his/her stupidity.
God Bless Nigeria.
Its @Ovasabii, representing the Twitter Constituency.