It didn’t come as a loud realisation but more like a quiet shift in how she began to see herself. Tems opened up about how constantly being the one who gives can slowly shape the way a person thinks, feels, and even reacts in everyday situations. For her, it stopped being just an action and became something deeper, almost like a role she felt she had to play at all times.

She explained that when giving becomes second nature, stepping back can feel uncomfortable, even wrong. There’s this strange feeling that something is missing or that you’ve failed in some way, simply because you didn’t show up in the same way you always do. Over time, she noticed it could blur the line between genuine care and a kind of pressure you place on yourself to always be the one holding things together.

That pattern, she admitted, can quietly turn inward. When she didn’t give as much, it made her feel out of place, almost like she had disrupted something. It even led to moments where she would assume responsibility for how others felt in a situation, questioning whether she had done enough or missed something. In that space, giving stops being about connection and starts becoming tied to self-worth.

She also pointed out how over-giving doesn’t just affect you; it shifts the balance in relationships. When one person is always pouring, the other can begin to feel unsure of their own role. It can create an imbalance where the natural flow of giving and receiving is lost, leaving both sides slightly disconnected in different ways.

For her, learning to receive has been just as important as learning to give. It’s about allowing space for others to show up, to contribute, and to express care in their own way.

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