Time To Grow by Ope Dada
The voices keep resonating in my head, this time more lucid than ever before. I keep fighting to stay still or rather stand still,
I’m going numb dear lord what have I gotten myself into? The congregation, the invited and un-invited guests, my family, her family, my friends, colleagues, acquaintances, business ally’s and former lovers are all there *sighs* the church is packed full I hear. With every pattern I’ve ever known (British, American and self-styled) I struggle still with getting this tie knotted, can’t get it right even though I have been knotting ties since I was in high school all through to my days as a financial analyst so what’s gone wrong now? I’m going numb dear lord.
My best man “Mutiu” parts me in the back and reminds me that we are more than an hour late and she (my future wife) has been calling incessantly, I take one quick glance at my mobile devices and the red notification light keeps blinking like I was stuck in traffic at night (brake lights). Finally, I’m able to get the tie right and shrug off whatever feelings I have turning to doubts about today, but these voices in my head and the awful things they keep saying to discourage me where did they come from? To be honest I’m a bit hung over from last night, but it’s not the first time I’ll be having drinks on the eve of important days like these, I remember sharing a few bottles that turned into a harvest of plenty with a particular sexy female class mate back in college on the eve of our finals *smiles* now that was something. Ok, back to the reality of today as I struggle past the living room area after leaving the bedroom and aim straight for the parked vehicle in the lot that’s been waiting to convey me to the venue, I ‘m about to get married.
*6 months earlier*
Some people wait a life time for a moment like this, I kept saying to myself after Gdep, Funsho,Tony, Buckky , Sunbo, Sanya, Skiby, Hasstrup ,Demola (the list is endless) all got hitched in 2012 and it’s no fault of theirs that they chose to get married (and forever be an inmate in what ordinarily should have been momentary intimacy), I knew I wasn’t ready for marriage or to even commit to one person for the rest of my life (I’d rather LEAVE life than to die another day in marriage) so I sat down to analyze the pros and the cons of yours truly being a married man;
#Privacy to me cannot be compromised by another partner, what I do behind closed doors in my room is my business and whatever it is your filthy mind is thinking is none of my business too, but I know I’m privy to such things as despair to allow a person’s conduct in violation of another person’s privacy regardless of the nature, incidence, occasion or in this case relationship. I’m of the school of thoughts that yes even if we are married we should have separate bed-rooms, this will allow for my lowly down right shenanigans (every now and then) not to get in the way of the nosy wife or whenever we have a brawl it doesn’t aggravate into the bedroom where I wouldn’t be sure if there’s a knife underneath your pillow? Ok let me be honest I hate sleeping on the couch :I #LateNights in the city of Lagos for me could be described as that transition period between leaving the office, spending a large portion of that time in traffic on the way home (weekdays) and then a decoy at the local pub before finally getting home. All these are nothing new to a single, HARP(y) bachelor like me infact I live for these nights, there used to be a period when Mondays – Fridays my friends and I had social events that we attended after work, could be Monday nights at “waxlyrical”, Wednesday was industry night or ladies night, Thursday was “freedom hall” where we go for spoken word recitals/ music/ poetry/ comedy presentation et al and of course Friday nights starts at “freedom park” and ends in a night club. It wasn’t a function of the number of times I was out in a week but to a large extent the activities of the night that mattered to me, at the end of the day with my windows down and my systems up I’ll genuinely miss these nights.
My #SleepingPositions give startling insights into how stressed out, bossy and stubborn my body really is. You can tell a lot
about a person from the way they sleep so believe me when I tell you that I love to sleep and yes I do have my preferred
“sleeping positions” which by the way some of the girls I dated in the past may have found to be awkward when I drift into
my peaceful slumber. I was amazed one day when Dammy (my 4years old niece) I think she was about 2yrs old at the time
was sleeping and all of a sudden her legs were crossed in the same sleeping position I liked, LOL that was the day I knew this
behaviour was genetic and I wasn’t a freak. In the same vein, I don’t know how many women out there can tolerate a guy that
covers himself all up no matter what the weather condition is with the pillow across his face? Listen, I’m that guy.
#Metrosexualism describes an urban man who pays close attention to his personal appearance such as; body, personal grooming, fashion and aesthetics in general who may or may not be concerned with self-indulgence and money. Consequently, these are men with taste and style who know about fashion, art and culture. In my own case I wear different colours of “contact lenses”, I’m very petty about a lot of things that occur in my immediate environment that affects me directly/indirectly, when I’m not looking my best either at work or at a social event it weighs me down, I’m a cologne collector ( just name it I have probably used it before), yes I’m one of those few people that care about what people say and the fact that I’m LIBRA doesn’t help much ‘cause I’m prone to give my last kobo to a friend in deed than a family in need. I’m down right metrosexual, will you marry me?
The cultural idea associated with the culinary art of food and wine which is characterized by refined and more elaborate preparations/presentations of aesthetically balanced meals of several contrasting, often quite rich course with a sense of
taste and passion found naturally in some people, these people are known or referred to as #Gourmets. For years now I have
always known that my love for food, alcohol, s*x and cigarettes (adult vices) would land me in trouble one way or the other,
my first AND ONLY car crash in 2010 many believed was as a result of alcohol intoxication (even though I survived it without
a scratch), the many girls I have changed like clothes over the years may be as a result of a “big ass” (idi’nla) addiction, the other day I watched this commercial on investigative discovery channel and it exposed/linked the near possibility of continuous smoking with genetic mutancy O_O. Lastly, the relationship I have with anyone could be altered i.e. friends to foes and vice versa depending on who will likely cure this my FFO syndrome!
#TimeToG(r)o(w). To elaborate this further, permit me to borrow a few lines from the British R&B star Lemar who (not
by coincidence) has a song with the same title as the hash tag. These are excerpts from the song “Time to grow” by Lemar;
“Last night I tried but I couldn’t sleep
Thoughts of you were in my head
I was lonely and I needed you next to me
Life is harder since you left
I never meant to do you wrong
And now all is said and done
I hope you won’t be gone too long/No
Where do I go
What do I do
I can’t deny I still feel something
And girl, I wish you could say you feel the same
You’ve broken the bond
I gotta move on
But how do I end this lonely feeling?
You’ve gone, I’m here, alone
I guess it’s time to grow..
Time to grow/ and move on
Make life better than it was before
Time to grow and move on
Make love better than I did before”!
What more can I say? I begged and begged her for weeks that
ran into months until I found the right one. I’m moving on, it’s
time to G(r)O(w) ..
I look around and it’s not as bad as I thought it would be, I see my parents clad in the most colourful attire with a smirk look on their faces due to my late arrival (or is it entry now). Looking back at the last 6months before I met her (my dear future wife) until this moment, all the trials and tribulations “what’s love without tragedy” but finally it’s TIME TO G(R)O(W) J. I wouldn’t have done it with anyone else but you; you’re more like my messiah that with all my shortcomings you still chose to marry me. On my own part I’m prepared to die in the moment, me/you together and as long as we have each other with the much anticipated coming also of the new born *wipes tears from eyes* lets capture the moment. As I exchange wedding vows the voices return to my head saying “don’t marry the person you Love, but Love the person you marry”. If you ask me I’m ready and I DO.