Shakira’s ex-boyfriend is suing her for $100 million, and her legal response can be summarized as follows: Kiss my attractive, famous butt.
Former lover Antonio de la Rua argues he was essentially Shakira’s manager for 11 years and deserves to be paid accordingly.
Legal papers Shakira filed in reply say, in paraphrase: I was famous before I even met you, you mooching scum. Plus you have a teeny weenie. (That last part is all about reading between the lines). Shakira wants the case thrown out, claiming they never entered into a management contract.
We hope Shakira writes legal documents with her hips, because they don’t lie.