When we talk of happiness, what comes to mind especially here in Africa is living an extravagant life, that dream job, getting that dream spouse or getting a whole lot of profits from your business etc. Anyway you look at the word happiness it is an emotional feeling when good things happen to you.
But to be truly happy is beyond material things which we all try to get at all cost. When we say “I am Happy” most times, we don’t really feel that emotional feeling deep down. When we’re not happy with what we have, we believe we’ll be happier when we get what we want. And we’re right, we will be happier — for a while. You can attain a lot on the success ladder and never be happy. Happiness is an emotional feeling and not just an aspect of your life. It should resonate all over our beings. This is what brings genuine smiles that come from the heart. Many pay huge amount of money to be happy but the truth is that happiness is free. You can’t really buy happiness. What we know is that if you are successful in marriage, friendship, income, work and health, then you are more likely to be happy.
People look to various places for happiness paying huge amount of bucks just to get a glimpse of happiness. What people fail to understand is that what they feel just disappears after a while when reality dawns on them. We know that more happiness is derived from experiences than from material gains, which means that introverts may be in for an unhappy ride. If happiness is to be had in experience, extroverts are more likely than introverts to go out and seek new experiences. Research has shown that we now have increased cases of depression caused by daily unhappiness. Unhappiness sends negative vibes which transcends into depression in the long run.
What makes you happy, seems like a simple question, but the truth is that many people don’t know. Or, as psychologists have discovered, they think they know the answer, but really don’t. Psychological research on happiness has identified several things people have in common: the types of things that make them happy, the things they think will make them happy, and the differences between the two. Think about a time when you felt particularly happy. What was it that made you happy? Was it because you had loved ones near? Because you went on a vacation? Because you had just accomplished something important? Or were you happy because you had lots of money?
When it comes to health and happiness, either one can be the cause or effect. Research shows that when we feel happy, we’re more likely to be healthy and stay healthy. The problem is that once you get a large house with a swimming pool or get that promotion you’ve been chasing, you gradually get used to it and become unhappy again if we are not filling the right void (What makes us happy). But you can’t even solve a problem when you don’t really know the problem. We need to figure out what truly makes us happy as a person and not what society pre-determines has been a happy person. In fact, even when we’re negatively affected by events, our immediate dissatisfaction also gradually fades, and in time we return to our pre-existing state of happiness (or unhappiness, whichever the case may be). The one way is to be constantly positive in your pursuits no matter the case may be. You cannot experience more than one emotion at the same time. For example if you were stressed you can’t feel happy and if you were depressed you can’t feel motivated. So based on that information one of the main tasks you should be doing if you want to be happy is to eliminate all your bad or unwanted emotions. Just write down the emotions that are currently preventing you from feeling happy and work towards solving them or discarding them. The mind works with our emotions, by getting rid of these unwanted emotions you may not feel happy immediately but you will be opening the door to happiness by removing the first barrier to it. If you already know what makes you happy and if it’s something that is within your reach then know that sharing this experience with someone else will make you feel even happier. Be happy always, no matter the cost.
Written By Akinwamide Nifemi