Need Something? How to Tell Your Man What You Need Without Complaining

Hmmmmnnn Naija women! We are so loving and awesome most of the time. Now there there, don’t get all worked up. We want something or need to discuss something urgent or disturbing with bae and we get all aggressive and if some of us don’t, a certain edginess creeps into our tone of voice. It is actually a bit difficult to keep calm and not sound angry and all.

Such lovely creatures that we are…lol… Communication and a mutual understanding of each other is key in any relationship. Complaints should be given a backseat. Think about it, what do you think about those friends who complain to you about a lot of things? You sometimes tune out right? You see, expressing your needs is a healthy, positive way to sustain the relationship for a long time.



Even though it seems logical to know that when you need something from someone you still need to say it in a nice manner.

Here are a few tips for getting what you want in a peaceful manner.

  • Identify what it is you want to talk about before approaching bae, be it your needs, or something annoying. Think through thoroughly as this will help in presenting them in clear terms.
  • You need to be direct. Your man isn’t a psychic who knows everything you are thinking and want. Never ever assume he knows what your needs are. Be straightforward, no merry-go-rounding. Men prefer straightforwardness as it helps with easy resolution of any issues. Haven’t you noticed that most fights amongst couples are sometimes due to the two parties not understanding what is going on…
  • Discuss one issues at a time. Yes, we women can multitask and talk about different subjects all at once and still remember which is which sometimes, but then, it might not be best to take this approach with bae, as you guys might end up not resolving any issue. Stick to one subject to make sure you discuss the issue completely, and that you arrive at a resolution.
  • Listen… women, listen. We complain about men not listening but then we also need to listen. Listen to bae’s response. Men are also respectful. They will return the same respect when it is your turn to speak again. Men value respect in relationships. When you listen to him, you show him that he has a high enough status in your relationship to warrant respect through listening.

While it is easy like said earlier to put in some attitude when discussing certain things with your man, maintain a calm and mild tone of voice for easy and effective communication. This helps the relationship grow and encourage respect between you two.


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