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I promise, this will make you laugh

I stumbled unto this piece on This Day News Live and I decided to share. Like I said, this will make you laugh.

The Moon-Sight Tales

In anticipation that the moon would be sighted on Monday, the Federal Government declared Tuesday and Wednesday as Public Holiday for the celebration of Eid-el fitr to mark the end of Ramadan fast. However, when the moon could not be sighted on Monday night, the Sultan of Sokoto, Alhaji Sa’ad Abubakar III, in his capacity as the President-General of the Nigerian Supreme Council for Islamic Affairs, directed that the Ramadan fast continues on Tuesday. With that also, the federal government extended the holiday till Thursday with all the implications for the economy. However, since Nigerians are very good at laughing at their problems, there were all manner of “newspaper headlines” about the situation. I have added my own to some that are already in the public arena:
• Blame APC for allowing Fulani herdsmen to kill the moon—Ayo Fayose
• Until we restructure the galaxy, there will be no moon in Nigeria—Afenifere
• The problem arose because budget for the moon was padded—Udo Udoma
• The North owns the moon and will decide when it can be sighted—ACF
• There is no single Igbo man in the moon sighting committee—Ohanaeze
• Under the last government, moon sighting was job for the boys—Babachir Lawal
• To address the problem, the CBN will release a flexible moon-sighting window—Godwin Emefiele
• Commonsense should tell us we cannot continue to rely on foreign moon. Nigeria must develop its own moon—Ben Bruce
• Saraki, Ekweremadu will be arraigned for forging moon sighting rules—Uba Malami
• INEC hereby declares the sighting of the moon inconclusive—Mahmoud Yakubu
• EFCC will soon name the politicians who collected N99.9 billion to loot the moon—Ibrahim Magu
• Sabotage of gas pipelines responsible for not sighting the moon—Babatunde Fashola, SAN
• There was no transparency in the way the moon was sighted—Waziri Adio
• Sheriff encouraged Boko Haram to lock the moon at PDP secretariat—Ahmed Makarfi
• Buhari should probe Amaechi over the missing moon—Nyesom Wike
• The anomaly in the crescentic illumna of the moon in the atmospheric galaxy is tantamount to more crinkum crankum—Patrick Obahiagbon
• The APC will soon create another moon for Nigerians—John Oyegun
• We blew up the moon and we will blow up more moons—Niger Delta Avengers
• Nigerians are so fantastically corrupt that they can’t even see the moon—David Cameron
• The last administration embezzled the money meant for the maintenance of the moon—Lai Mohammed
• We have arrested and detained all the IPOB members who stole the moon—DSS
• We will go on strike if moon is not found within 24 hours—ASUU President
• The disappearance of the moon will soon be a thing of the past—T. Y. Buratai
• The decision to hide the fact that the moon was actually sighted on Monday is part of the grand conspiracy to prolong the Sallah holiday in order to Islamise Nigeria—CAN
And just as the ‘editor’ was about to sign off the ‘newspaper’, trust Simon Kolawole to come up with this ‘malicious’ report: “Even though he was not perfect, President Umaru Musa Yar’Adua did his best to ensure the smooth sighting of the moon throughout his tenure—Guess who?”
I wish all my Muslim brothers and sisters a happy Eid Mubarak. May your sacrifices of the past one month be rewarded.

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