By: Nwilo Bura-Bari Vincent
Ali: I learned your state was aloof today with celebration.
Me: I heard same too.
Ali: Did you attend?
Me: Yes.
Ali: Why?
Me: I don’t have a reason.
Ali: What? At your age, you just attend events without a reason?
Me: Yes.
Ali: That’s sad.
Me: I know. That’s why I attended.
Ali: What was the event about?
Me: Why do you want to know?
Ali: Isn’t it fair that I at least hear from you?
Me: It’s unimportant.
Ali: Come on. That’s cruel.
Me: What’s cruel?
Ali: Your refusal to tell me what went on today at the Brick House.
Me: You already know where it happened. I’m sure you eavesdropped.
Ali: Oh yes, I did. But that isn’t enough.
Me: What isn’t enough?
Ali: The information I got was not enough.
Me: Where did you get it?
Ali: Channels TV!
Me: Oh. It was on Channels?
Ali: Yes. And I saw your governor dancing Skelewu, and singing with unfriendly baritone like he was on drugs.
Me: Hian. I would mind what I say oh.
Ali: Why?
Me: Because walls have ears and use a BB.
Ali: Come on, that’s funny.
Me: Really?
Ali: I heard him talk about those who were given billions from the NDDC for road construction and they built a prostitute centre instead.
Me: Really?
Ali: You were there. I’m sure you heard it.
Me: In those languages?
Ali: Come on, I spiced it.
Me: Oh. I liked the dish though.
Ali: And you were pretending?
Me: Was I?
Ali: I know you are one bought bastard. Tell me. How much were you given?
Me: For what?
Ali: To attend the familiarization party.
Me: Oh. It has a name.
Ali: I made that up.
Me: Okay.
Ali: So tell me. How much were you given?
Me: Did you also hear this on Channels TV?
Ali: Arrgh. You know they wouldn’t say that?
Me: Why not?
Ali: Because it is public.
Me: I thought it was called public funds.
Ali: Yeah. But you know na.
Me: I don’t know anything oh.
Ali: You do. I’m sure a 50k got to you.
Me: As what? The senator who spoke?
Ali: You mean he was paid too?
Me: I think you are looking for trouble.
Ali: How?
Me: I don’t know. Good night.
Ali: Wait. Wait. Can we talk about something else?
Me: Like what?
Ali: Girls?
Me: Fcuk you, man.
Twitter: @saintvinny